Welcome to Liz and Linds Adventures! - Lindsay's Blog

Fourth of the whata?

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 04:28:00 +0700

So what if Australians don't really care about America's independence day! Liz and I still managed to round up our Aussi e friends and throw one hell of a party with the help of Shel dog (Sheldon)! We served Jambalaya and ribs on the barB! In true American fashion, we played a few games of beer pong and ended the night with smores! You could have sworn that smores were crack, people just couldn't get enough. I would say all in all, the night was fantastic...from what I can remember. The next day however was a day of regrets because overnight our apartment had been converted to a frat house. Empty bottles and cups everywhere, the smell of stale beer, and perhaps a little bit of spue. We took the day nice and slow and even five days later, we are attempting to fumigate the stinch that is lingering in the air!

The fourth of july party has been the latest in my life. I am just taking each day as it comes and with every day comes a little more sadness. I was having cuddles with Neil the wombat as he drank his bottle and I had to stop myself from crying! The end is so near and I feel like one huge titty baby! All I know is that my friends here better be planning a huge going away party, only to be topped by my homies who should be planning a welcome home

My Top Ten!

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 04:17:57 +0700

Oh man, the count down begins! We have officially booked our tickets home and this harsh reality has hit me like a ton of bricks. Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled to be returning home and a minute longer would be too long but it is going to be a heart felt good bye. The last 9 months have been unreal and to sum it up, one incredible and life changing adventure. When we set out on this journey, Liz and I expected to travel and see as much as possible but little did we know that we would fall in love with Perth and want to stay put. We thought long and hard about our decision and we decided no travel adventures could be better than the people we have met and grown very close to. Heck, saying good bye would be easy had we hopped around but I think we know that we have made life long friends that we would be happy to visit in the future.

By far one of my favorite adventures has been my job at the wildlife park and I am very grateful to have had this opportunity. I am thrilled to go to work everyday and the people that surround me quickly became my family down under! I plan on pursuing a similar career back home but it will be pretty hard to mimic the work I have done out here. All I know is that where ever I work, I intend on convincing them to get wombats and kangaroos! Who knows, I may even be the owner of my own wildlife park one day...Dad, can I borrow some money please?

I am freaking out about returning home and I can’t even put my head around all of the things that will be different. Let’s see…there is a possibility that I will be unpacking my suitcase in a home that is not the one I have lived in all my life, there are a couple of bundles of joy that I am eager to meet, my nieces and godchild are almost all grown up, my dog may or may not remember me, and I will be putting on about thirty pounds from eating everything I have missed since I have been gone! Oh and I think most of you will be pleased to hear that I did not get knocked up while I was out here and as cute as these Aussie boys are, none of them really tickled my pickle!

My birthday is coming up and I have lots of great friends planning a gathering. I filled them in on the fact that from the first of June to the ninth, I celebrate my birthday. I think Liz and I are planning to play super golf for my birthday and I can’t wait. We went shopping in the city yesterday and I figured she was looking for present hints so I tried to drop them as much as possible ; ). It will be different to spend my birthday with someone other than my girls back home but I think it will still be fun!

Adventures here have been pretty low key but not completely boring. I took a small day trip with Tracey to a place called Penguin Island where we got to see a total of ten penguins but they were still freaking cute. My boss gave birth to twins and she kindly let Jess and I visit her and the babies in the hospital. They were born three months premature so they are super tiny but two very strong little boys that have put up quite a fight! I had this past weekend off so Liz and I went with her friends Sheldon and Vick, to play a little B-ball. My competitive side definitely came out but we still managed to keep it fun! After B-ball, we met my girls, Trace and Jess, for some Mexican food and then we went out with Sheldon and Vick to a classy jazz club. I have seen a couple of great movies, Night at the Museum II and Star Trek and had dinner with a group of friends from work which was a blast.

All in all, things are still amazing and in case you are wondering what day I am coming home, don’t bother asking because it is a surprise! My mom already tried to ask me and I wouldn’t tell her even though she threatened not to tell me where she will be living. It’s all in good fun and probably the best surprise you will have all year (not to toot my own horn)! I love you all and miss you more than you can ever imagine! I thought I would let you know the top ten things that I miss most!

10.) All things Cajun Cher and taco bell.

9.) My Alma Mata including all things Zeta and “the group” Hoo Rah!

8.) Weekends at the Lake House

7.) Downtown laffy taffy with my home girls and the random country things we do

6.) Challenging my nieces and sis n law to wii fit

5.) Shopping with my God child and catching up with Mrs. Lynn every other Friday when she kicks me out of bed to clean

4.) Playing tennis and golf with the most important men in my life

3.) Holidays with family especially when it includes watching Renee open gifts and a video camera with a bag of old clothes

2.) Acting the fool with my sis and getting to watch prime time tele with my mom on my favorite couch with the sleep blanket

1.) MARTINI!!!! My dog not the beverage

What is a Quoll? Oh I know!

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 04:11:57 +0700

Where do I even start with this blog???? How about with my rendition of “When Animals Attack”? I have to give you a little back ground first. I learned a new run (morning task) at work and this is a run that involves some of our more feisty animals…take for example, our Tasmanian Devils. I was really excited to learn this run and in the beginning things were going beautifully until April fool’s day…go figure!

At the start of work on the first day of April, things began as usual and I started my run that includes tidying up (scooping poop) enclosures and filling up feed dishes. I went in and out of the devil enclosures with no problem and then on to the quolls. For everyone who doesn’t know what a quoll is, let me explain. They are a carnivorous marsupial that gets about as big as a cat so they have pretty sharp teeth and claws to shred poor innocent animals to pieces. When I was taught the run, I was told to be cautious with the quolls because they can become aggressive. I hadn’t had any trouble with them so I let my guard down a bit. I entered the enclosure that belongs to Max the quoll and started to move some stuff around that had come down over night. I was a bit startled when I saw him jump down because he normally stays sound asleep while I am in there. My first instinct was to use my rake to keep him at a distance but when that rake got caught on a tree in his enclosure you could say that the shit hit the fan. He jumped on my leg and gripped my pants tightly with his mouth. It wasn’t bad at first because he only had fabric in his mouth but when I tried to pry him off he quickly found flesh. I spent the next five minutes trying to wrestle this thing off of my leg. At one point I kicked him so hard that he flew against the wall and I swear he slid down it slowly just like in the movies. Every time I thought I could make my escape he would leap right back on my leg. I tried to call for help in a very calm voice over the radio but of course my supervisor was on the phone and couldn’t hear me. Once I managed to get out, I was shaken up a bit and breathing heavily because it was a really good work out trying to get that demon off of me. I called up my supervisor again and told him to meet me in the section that I was in and when he walked up all I did was show him my legs which were scratched and bleeding. He felt pretty bad and sent me down the back to get cleaned up.

The awkward part actually started when I met Debbie down the back so that she could administer proper first aid. You see, the majority of the wounds were around my ankles but there were a few instances where Max managed to grab hold of my thighs. When I saw Debbie, I told her that she would have to be ok with seeing my ass because I had to drop my pants. Now for all of you who know me well, I will assure you that I was wearing underwear so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. For a good thirty minutes, I sat in the staff area with my pants pulled down while Debbie doctored me up. The poor woman is five months pregnant with twins and was down on all fours cleaning my wounds. She was a champ. There were only a few staff members that walked in with awkward looks on their faces. I am not sure if it was because I was bleeding or if it was the fact that I was in my underwear. Needless to say I found out later that it is breeding season for the quolls so Max took his sexual frustration out on the first innocent bystander he could.

Now on to other things, I have had Tracey’s car for the past two and half weeks and I it has been awesome. I never have to worry about a train or catching the bus and I also get to sleep in for a whole extra hour. I have gotten pretty used to operating the manual transmission but I still do stall occasionally and hear funny noises coming from the engine but no worries! I did run into problem on the second day that I had her car because I went to open the door and the handle broke off. Obviously just from wear and tear but never the less I did it so I had to fix it. Luckily Jess’s boyfriend knows people and just how to put door handles back on so it will be good as new in no time. Thanks to the car, Liz and I were able to play Supa Golf on our day off. Supa golf is basically a twisted game of golf with oversized clubs and balls. We had so much fun and I sucked it up in the end when I turned out to be the loser. Everything with Liz and I is a freaking competition and I swear that we both have a secret tally that allows us to keep track of who will be the gold medalist in the end.

A few of us from work got together the other night and went bowling and like a beast, I dominated! I got lip for my form because I do the whole one leg behind the other motion when I bowl. In the end no one was laughing! It was a fun night so we decided to do it all over again but with laser tag. That was a walk back in time for me and I thought of the good ole Q Zar from back home that later turned into that under aged club where my best friends and I went every damn weekend because it was the cool thing to do! Oh good times. Laser tag was a lot of fun and after sucking it up the first round I decided game on for the second round. I came in fourth place and that was good enough for me! The best part about the night was that the games were short and I was able to rush home to watch Grey’s Anatomy. We finally have the latest season here in Australia so I love every minute of it. I seriously almost canceled laser tag because I didn’t want to miss the new episode…kind of an addict!

Liz and I got our casino fix last week and it was fun because Jess, Jase, and his sister Tara came with us. Our luck seems to be running out and instead of stopping while we were ahead we decided we would lose our money instead…so much more fun right? We played roulette the entire night and while we ended up short everyone else had a successful night so Liz and I decided that we can’t have friends with us at the casino because it stunts our luck and it is bad for our business (gambling…remember our fund from the last blog?) We are planning on spending Easter at the casino so cross your fingers that our luck returns!

Things are smooth sailing here in Australia and I couldn’t be happier…as long as I don’t think about home, oh wait that’s impossible. I miss home terribly and I am so torn between my home sickness and the amount of fun that I am having here. I still have no clue about when I am coming home but I will be sure to let you know when we figure things out. I just want you all to know that I think about you often and can’t wait to give you the biggest hug you have ever had! I love you!

Your mom goes to college

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 04:10:25 +0700

Sorry for the delayed blog but there have been plenty of distractions that mean I have a lot to write about. I can’t believe March finally got here because I had been counting down the days until my Mom’s visit since I arrived in Australia but as fast as March got here, it is already over and I am in shock at how time is flying! Of course the visit from my Mom and Viv was incredible so enjoy reading all about it.

First of all, just a little word of advice to everyone; if you are going to visit Australia please allow yourself a minimum of three weeks. As much as we got to do, I didn’t even put a dent in the amazing things that I could have shown them for the week that they were here. I was anticipating their arrival with extreme intensity and they could not get here soon enough. I had arranged a taxi from work so that I could work a half day and just around the time of picking them up, I get word that their flight had been delayed! Go figure! Instead of hanging out at the airport, I went home with Tracey to get showered, ate dinner, and hung out with the girls for a bit until Jess took me to the airport. I got there just in time to run into my Mom and Viv walking to the door with their luggage. It was a surreal moment and it took a sec for reality to set in! After our long hugs and kisses, we settled the rental car and took off in our fly convertible. I put them straight to bed because I knew the next seven days were going to be non stop!

Their first full day in Australia just so happened to be my mom’s birthday so we made it an action packed day. I took them straight to the wildlife park so they could experience kangaroos, wombats, and koalas! At our wombat show, Debbie who was the commentator gave my mom a special birthday wish in front of the big crowd so she wasn’t too happy about that but it gave the rest of us a good laugh. Tracey told everyone at the morning staff meeting that we were coming in and that it was my mom’s birthday so everyone I introduced her to over exaggerated the greeting and birthday wishes. Take for example my Italian friend, Andy…he grabs hold of her hand and starts to kiss it while exclaiming that my mom is a legend and he is so grateful to meet her! It actually got to the point where my Mom was freaked out by all the enthusiasm! She loved all of my friends and her favorite part was getting to bottle feed Hazel, a joey kangaroo. After the park, we had lunch at a brewery and then headed to King’s park for the most breathtaking view of the city. It was the shortened version of King’s park because we had dinner plans with Maureen but they got the picture and off we went back to my apartment. We got all dolled up and met Maureen at her place for a few drinks. She has the best view of the Swan River so my Mom and Viv enjoyed that and then it was off to Spaghi’s for a lovely birthday dinner. We all enjoyed ourselves…some a little too much but all in good fun of course!

I unfortunately had work for the next two days so I left Liz to keep the two busy. Their first outing proved to be disastrous because while on the freeway they witnessed a wreck that was really bad so being the first on the scene led them to a pretty brutal site. My Mom was interviewed by the news so she was famous after only one day in Australia. They managed to enjoy the rest of their day and find time to cook spaghetti for me so that when I got home I had a hot meal waiting. The next day Liz took them to her winery and a few other stops in Swan Valley. Needless to say the winery was their favorite part and they ended up spending a whopping five hours there! It was a fun sight when they picked me up from work that day! We set off to eat sushi that night at a very traditional restaurant where you took your shoes off and practically sat on the ground. We enjoyed ourselves and some more lovely wine. My mom was exhausted so she hit the sack while Viv, Liz, and I went to The Windsor for a few more booze. We had a fun time drinking and hearing the latest gossip. After a few drinks, we walked on home and went to bed.

The next morning, was the start of our adventure to Margaret River. A few wrong turns along the way added plenty of character to the trip but alas we arrived in the heart of Margaret River. Our place at Merribrook Retreat was stunning and set in a lovely, peaceful forest so we enjoyed the quiet atmosphere (well what was quiet until we got there.) I took them to the coast so they could see the beautiful beaches along the Indian Ocean and after wine and beer we decided to walk the nature trail around our retreat. Viv was desperate to find a kangaroo in the wild to photograph so I tried to find one but in the end we wound up with nada! The next day we hit up a local winery for lunch and then headed to the coast again for some rest and relaxation on the beach. It was a pretty laid back day and we appreciated every minute of it. We decided to stay an extra day so for our last day we hit the shops. We ended the evening with some great pasta made in the retreat’s kitchen and dinner on the lake. It was amazing and we all really enjoyed ourselves.

Now the rest of the trip could have been better with a little more planning but I thought winging it would have sufficed…man was I wrong. I have been hearing all about the land of the giants which is this infamous tree walk a little further south than Margaret River so I thought it would be worth the drive. Well that drive left us in the car ALL day long! It may have been worth it once we arrived at the tree walk but I forgot the small detail about my Mom being acrophobic. I told her it was like walking on a bridge but that really wasn’t the case. Not to mention we were all starving and I promised them that there would be a restaurant near the tree walk and there wasn’t. The tree walk should have taken a half hour but when my mom hit that platform, she was through it in about ten seconds. It was definitely not like a bridge…much more wobbly! We had a good laugh as the three of us hung back and watched her run through the trees and not look up at a single one! It was a pretty cool experience but again a small plan would have made a world of difference. We hit the road shortly after the tree walk and drove and drove and drove and then drove some more until we finally arrived back home.

We spent their last day in the city letting them shop and enjoy downtown Perth. Viv was in heaven with all of the shopping that was to be done. We ended their trip with dinner at the casino with Maureen and her friend Mary. Mary is part Scottish and she and Viv definitely hit it off even though Viv didn’t understand most of what Mary was saying. The food was great and the company was fantastic. To top it off, we hit up the casino floor for some gambling with Mom’s money…the best kind of gambling there is. Liz and I once again had a very successful night at the roulette table and we are officially addicted. We signed up for the casino club that night and we officially have a gambling fund that I am convinced will make us rich. If you are interested in donating please email me!

Their departure date came way too fast and I was in denial that it was already time to drop them off. It was hard to get dressed for work that morning knowing that when I got back home, they wouldn’t be there. We all managed to say our goodbyes without crying and Ms. VIv threatened me with another visit if I didn’t come home soon. It was with out a doubt a fun experience having them as my house guests. I can only hope that they enjoyed everything as much as I did. I know it made my mom feel a lot better about me being here knowing that Liz and I are doing just fine. They were off to Sydney with rejuvenated excitement for the remainder of their trip. I would like to report that they arrived safely back home with a greater appreciation for air conditioning and in Ms. Viv’s case…AMERICAN BEER. She didn’t hesitate to ask every last bartender if they had American beer behind the bar and you could see the look of shock on their faces every time she asked.

Needless to say they were off and my life turned back to normal so it was off to work that morning for a full day of tours! Giving tours are the absolute worst when you just don’t have the enthusiasm and considering my mood, it made for a hard day. Maybe reading this blog will encourage some of you to come and visit me. There is a chance that I will stay the full year so if you can’t bare to go that long without seeing me then I suggest you book your ticket! I hope all is well back in the great U S of A. I miss all of you tremendously and I can’t wait to see you in Australia!

The Latest Down Under

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 01:45:27 +0700

Happy Mardi Gras… or happy stupid gras because I am super bitter that I missed out! It seems like it was good fun for everyone this year and I am done trying to convince Australians that it is more than glorified drag queens. The only thing Australian’s have to associate with Mardi Gras is the gay pride parade that happens every year in Sydney. No one at work could understand why I was so excited about the holiday. I gave up trying to explain it to them. I spent some time on the internet today and I saw everyone’s photos from their Mardi Gras experiences and I was pretty darn jealous. Of course I am now missing home more than ever and I am almost positive that I say that in every blog so you can imagine the level of my separation anxiety. Never the less I am still having a good ole time here in Australia and I will definitely be leaving behind some great friends when I head home.

Liz and I managed to find our way back to the Windsor the other night and yes we also managed to stumble our way back home. It was the middle of the week and there was a band so we were just expecting a couple of drinks and then calling it a night. One drink definitely turned into one too many. I am surprised the bouncers still let us in when we go for a drink because the American in us definitely shines through after a few. Not to mention that the beers here aren’t normal sized…more like super sized! Now we will have to wait another month before showing our faces again. I am just really glad that Liz and I have each other to talk drunken since into one another and we always wind up safe and sound back home.

After our night at the Windsor I went to the Perth zoo with Tracey. It was great fun but the heat plus my hangover wasn’t the ideal zoo condition. I laughed at Tracey the whole time we were there because all she did was compare the zoo to the wildlife park and stood strong on the belief that Caversham is way better. I would have to agree but I was still in awe of seeing the elephant give himself a mud bath. It wasn’t the most impressive zoo but I still had a good time and it was fun hanging out with my pommy friend. She is pretty much fantastic and is always going out of her way to help me. She is headed home to the UK in a few weeks to visit her family and she is adding me to her insurance and letting me borrow her car while she is away…can you believe that? Granted, it is a standard and on the opposite side so I am going to take a few practice lessons before taking that puppy on the wrong side of the road. Wish me luck because I really can’t afford to buy her a new car!

My friend Jessica and her boyfriend Jase just moved into a new house so they invited us over for a little dinner. Once again we had all of the kangaroo joeys there offering plenty of excitement. Jessica, Jase, and her twin brother all made a wonderful Italian feast. It was absolutely delicious and I had my good American beer to wash it down with (Michelob Ultra of course!) Jessica’s brother is a pilot for Quantas airways and there is a chance that he might be flying my mom’s plane when she and Viv come to visit…how cool is that? Anyway the night ended with some guitar hero and good company and off we went to Tracey and Shane’s house where I practically have my own bedroom. Her dogs were sweet enough to cuddle with me and if it wasn’t for the fact that they are the size of small horses in comparison to Martini I might have missed her in that moment. We were lucky enough to all have the next day off together so we had a girl’s day at the local galleria and hit up the movies. We saw no other movie than the ultimate chick flick… He Just isn’t that into You. In case you were wondering I deem myself as Scarlett Johansen in that movie but I don’t think I would ever stoop as low as sleeping with a married man. Just the whole leading a poor inncocent guy on time after time…it is kind of what I am known for. Good news though, I am growing up so there could be a chance for some type of committed relationship in the future!

On another one of my days off, Jessica came to pick me up and then we met Liz for lunch in the city because she had work that day. It was a wonderful lunch and Liz filled us in on a few of the crazies that she works with. We even saw one at lunch and the lady totally went out of her way to avoid running into us. After lunch, Jess and I took a stroll through the mall and I helped her to invest in a decent tennis racquet. With her new equipment, we took the chance to hit up the tennis courts for a fun filled afternoon. It took us a while to find courts so we just headed to the local university and rented one. I had to laugh because after paying for a court, the lady handed us a box and said, “Here you go, bring it back when you are finished.” Any guesses as to what was in the box? Well let me tell you…the NET! I thought, seriously??? So off we went to the netless court and just pretty much rigged it so that we had something to hit over. I had to take a gander at what height it should be at but since I hadn’t played in so long I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary.

Work was really interesting the other day because we had a film crew come through that was putting together a segment about the Swan Valley region where we are located. They were filming at the eleven o’clock wombat and friend show so we had a ton of animals out for the visitors to meet. I was given the task of looking after Squeak who is a spotted tail quoll. She is only 8 months old so still pretty small. They are known for acting up at the shows so I did my best to calm her down before we went on stage. I hadn’t seen the set up so I was a bit surprised when Debbie signaled us to walk out and I found the camera smack dab in my face. I just played it cool as Squeak climbed all around my neck, digging her sharp claws into my skin. Once all of the animals were on stage, the camera man moved about as the crowd interacted with the animals. Squeak was all over the place and shaking a bit because she was a little scared so I did my best to settle her. Next thing I knew, she was peeing all down my leg! Lucky for me the camera man was distracted by the carpet python around Chad’s neck!

Speaking of snakes, I was asked to wash the window of our python enclosure. I thought no prob bob until Chad said he wanted them cleaned inside and out! I literally had to step into this tiny enclosure so that I was kneeling inside and wash the window while there was a python on each side of my head within a foot from my face. Chad’s advice to me was if they start to look hungry just get out…thanks Chad! I stepped out a few times and did my best to look fully confident when visitors walked by. Just another day in the neighborhood at Caversham! This job has been pretty amazing and the people I work with are quickly becoming very good friends of mine. I will be leaving a lot behind but there is really no place like home so for all of you that were worried about me not coming back, you can put those fears to rest! I will have to make an annual visit to my Aussie friends…well maybe not every year, let’s be honest I don’t have dad’s credit card any more! But bottom line is that I will be coming home eventually!

I hope you are all fulfilling your dreams because it sure does feel good to check things off the list! Don’t let life stop you from seeing and doing the things you want to. I think of you all every day and I really appreciate my devoted readers!

G’day,

Lindsay Ezell

LC

Snook

Ez-E

Happy 5 Months!

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 19:31:07 +0700

G day my readers! I am sure you have noticed that it is quite difficult for me to spit out blogs as often as I used to but I guess it is a good thing that I am keeping myself busy. Our five month anniversary is coming up and I am in utter disbelief. Things have been so amazing that it is hard to think about leaving this place. My time at the wildlife park is winding down as well and although I still have two months it just doesn’t seem like enough. A few exciting things have happened so enjoy this blog’s adventures.

Liz and I have adjusted well to having our own place and considering we just paid rent, we are going to greatly appreciate our space. It is outrageously expensive to live here but we are pinching pennies where ever we can. Every now and again we forget about the pinching pennies part and really treat ourselves. Take the other day for example…shopping, massages, and a movie! We decided that we really needed new shoes and then new shoes led to really needing massages and then finally we couldn’t leave the city without watching a movie. The massages were a bit jank since I remained fully clothed and my masseuse who was a man in the beginning mysteriously turned into a woman by the end. Not the most conducive setting for a relaxing massage but a massage none the less. After our messages, we purchased our movie tickets and enjoyed Bridal Wars. I highly recommend it if you haven’t seen it.

My work schedule was completely opposite from Liz’s so on all the days that she worked I had off. Instead of being productive with my time I pretty much slept. It was awesome and much needed. I did manage to squeeze in some time to go grocery shopping and visit the local video store to stock up on some DVDs. The trip to the grocery store involved a decent length walk which was worse on the way back since I had a few heavy bags. I did forget that I had purchased eggs so on the way home I was swinging the bags every where… totally leading to a bunch of cracked eggs when I got home. But really I slept for three days straight and I couldn’t be bothered to do anything else. I did go to the eye doctor because my eye has been acting a bit funny. It was a waste of time really because all he told me was that it is expected to feel dry because of the climate and then he sent me on my way with some drops. I am pretty sure that my eye is jacked but until I go blind I refuse to visit another doctor. I just walk around with one eye looking blood shot all day. My supervisor asked me why I was crying today because my eye was so red and watery. I informed him that I have a crazy eye and he said it is probably pink eye so now he calls me pinky (just for the record it is NOT pink eye).

I did have a rather interesting and unplanned evening the other night. My friend Tracey was meant to drop me off at a train station on her way home but there was a change of plans and instead we went to her place and Jessica met us there and she was going to take me home. Jessica decided that Tracey should probably just let us stay for dinner so Tracey sent her lovely boyfriend Shane to get some drinks and to pick up pizza. The craziest part about it was that while we were sitting in her backyard enjoying our drinks we were watching their two joey kangaroos have a hop around. You see, when we get orphans in the park they are assigned to a staff member that practically raise them to adult hood so right now Jess and Trace both have joeys. I thought that it really couldn’t get more Australian than drinking a beer and watching kangaroos hop around. It was funny because people always ask me what Americans think of Australia and they say things like “I bet you guys think we have kangaroos hopping around in our backyards!” Apparently some do so keep on thinking it!

We had a scare at the park the other day. There was a fire near by and because it was in close vicinity we were instructed to evacuate the park. When an evacuation takes place, each staff member is told to evacuate a certain area of the park so I was assigned the North section. Luckily it was a very quite day and I only noticed three public so I thought piece of cake. I first approached this couple and explained to them that we had to evacuate because of a fire near by. They smiled at me and just continued to enjoy the animals at a leisurely pace and that’s when I figured they didn’t speak English. That presented a challenge so I spent the next five minutes using gestures to explain that they were going to burn to death if they didn’t get the hell out. They never fully understood but with some proper nudging I at least got them moving in the right direction. Finally once they had exited, I tracked down the last person in my section. Of course it couldn’t just be an ordinary person…it was the Possum Lady! We all cringe when the possum lady is in because she comes in regularly to take photos of the animals and she always tries to get you to wake an animal up our move them for a better photo. She pretty much drives us nuts. So I approached her and told her that she needed to exit and sure enough she just sat there shooting picture after picture just chatting away with me as if I had nothing better to do. After pleading with me to save the possums if the fire reached the park, she was finally on her way. I was of course the last to clear my section so everyone was waiting on me…it was pretty embarrassing. Luckily the fire didn’t reach the park and no animals melted that day (it has happened in the past!) but we did get to go home early!

They are giving me more responsibility at the park so I have enjoyed the new things that I am learning. I get to have my cuddles with our joey wombats when I give them their morning and lunch bottles. Our smallest wombat, Natta, is a little devil. She is very particular about who she will let hold her so once she finishes her bottle she desperately tries to escape my arms. She has a vicious set of teeth on her as well so every time I think that she is settling in my arms she tosses her head around and bites my shoulder. I am just grateful every time that it isn’t my boob because she is never far from it. That would be an interesting story to explain to my Australian doctor back home…oh doctor you see my implant was popped by a wombat!

My supervisor followed me around on one of my tours the other day to give me a proper assessment and I will have you know that it was probably the worst group I have ever had! I think my supervisor found it very entertaining to watch me suffer through it. The majority of my group didn’t speak English (a.k.a. didn’t follow any of my instructions) and the other half were too hot and instead of following me always tried to find shade. There was also a mother with a toddler who decided that there was no time like the present to breast feed. All the more power to her, but really a wildlife park? Doesn’t that seem unsanitary? There was all sort of commotion throughout the tour and I had to leave certain animals out and I ended the tour early because I was so aggravated. My supervisor sat me down and I braced myself for loads of criticism. There was a good bit of it but Debbie was also very positive and pleased with how well I handled everything. She gave me a lot of great advice and told me that I still need to talk slower because she had trouble catching all the information but I really can’t talk any slower than I do during those tours…its impossible! I think she just hears slow.

It was a big day for Australian’s last week because it was Australia Day! That is like our July 4th! It is basically an excuse for everyone to be drunk by ten a.m. I worked during the day and I also had work the next day so celebrating hard core was out of the question so instead Liz and I enjoyed a lovely evening at Maureen’s. There was a huge fireworks display right on the river so being at Maureen’s left us front and center. We had some great food and lovely wine along with fantastic company. We were the youngest by fifty years but that didn’t stop us from having fun. I watched a lot of people get arrested and we were fortunate enough to witness two bouncers having a crack at this poor drunk fella that basically got his ass whooped! It was a crazy crazy night but a proud day for the Australians so they had their fun! I was pretty exhausted the next day at work but I felt really sorry for the actual Australians that I work with because they celebrated accordingly and had to suffer through some hard core hangovers.

I just finished my seventh day in a row of work but it is rewarded with an entire weekend off and that is something that I haven’t had for a while! It does suck because Liz will be at the winery on Sunday so we couldn’t plan a trip but I reckon I will just have to pay her a visit and taste Janebrook’s wine for the umpteenth time! I foresee a lot of sleeping again and maybe I will hit up the beech to even out my lovely farmer’s tan!

It would be nice to hear form you all since I feel like I haven’t spoken to some of you in ages! I did only have one little comment on my last blog (THANKS MRS.LYNN!) So feedback would be appreciated. I hope all is well in the great U S of A!

See ya’s,

Lindsay Ezell

LC

Snook

Ez-E

Visitors and New Apartment

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 17:08:38 +0700

Since I left you last (or neglected you sounds more like it) our excitement level has sky rocketed! We are in our new place and it is certainly a change from where we were. Life on a budget sucks but you got a do what you got a do. Enjoy my blog and let me know how much you miss me when you are done reading!

I believe when I last wrote to you, we had just spent a wonderful Christmas with Maureen’s family and we were packing our suit cases to head to Albany to visit Liz’s relatives. The packing we did but the heading to Albany part got a bit tricky…let me fill you in. We booked a bus ticket from Perth to Albany with the intentions of leaving on the 28th and coming back on the 31st because I had to work New Years day. We arranged to have Maureen drop us off at the station and Joe and Donna planned on picking us up in Albany. To prepare for the trip Liz had a bake fest and made the entire family her yummy muffins to take with us so we loaded those up along with a couple of sandwiches for the bus ride and then we packed up Maureen’s car. She drove us to the station and helped us unload while Liz went to get our tickets. Once we unloaded, Maureen and I headed over to Liz at the ticket counter. The lady was having some issues finding the tickets so she just printed new ones. Liz handed me the tickets and I began reading the information. I thought to myself that it was a bit odd that the tickets said the bus departed an hour ago so I brought that to the lady’s attention. She kindly informed us that we did indeed miss that bus to Albany and the next bus to leave was full so we wouldn’t be able to leave until the following day. Lesson learned here was not to let Liz read military time! Needless to say we canceled that trip and saw it as a chance to get in some apartment shopping.

Maureen took sympathy on our situation and decided to take us to Burswood casino for a lovely smorgasbord and some gambling. Liz and I exchanged some Christmas cash for a few chips and we gambled the night away. After losing a bit on the slots, we decided to try our luck at the Roulette tables. Maureen had a blast losing her money and for some reason she was dead set on the number six so for the next 20 bets we always put one chip on the number six. Our very last chip landed us thirty five to one odds when the mark hit six! We didn’t win that much money but we definitely left with more than we came with. I could not believe that it actually hit six on our very last chip! I always knew I was addicted to gambling but unfortunately this experience has made that addiction ten times worse.

Those were just a couple of fun experiences in the midst of our apartment hunting. Maureen let us take her car to go apartment shopping and she was kind enough to come with us and lend her opinion about certain areas. Trying to find a place to live was an absolute disaster! Apparently real estate agents are pretty busy around here because open houses only last fifteen minutes and you are required to go in order to get an application for the residence. It was an insane process and right when we were preparing to live on the streets we found a place not to far from where we were. It is a bit old with no air conditioning but it will suit our needs! I have already started a long to do list for our realtor and I graciously add to it on a daily basis as things around the place fall apart. We have this jank water heater that you can hear turn on and off and it is pretty sensitive so when you turn the cold water a little too far it shuts off and the water turns to freezing or vice versa if you are trying to adjust the warm water! It is dreadful hearing that clicking noise that lets you know you are about to get third degree burns or hypothermia...take your pick! “No worries” is what an Australian would say so I am sticking by that.

Shortly after getting settled into our apartment, Liz’s grandparents arrived with their friends Larry and Beverly. They spoiled us rotten while they were here and Liz and I enjoyed every minute of it. Hearing the four of them talk was entertainment enough for me. They have that deep Northern Louisiana accent that I actually had trouble understanding when they first arrived. It didn’t take me long to get back into the swing of things and before you knew it I had my little twain back. We took them down to Margaret River where we enjoyed a couple of wineries and some amazing food. We stayed at a place called Cape Lodge that was a stunning location. It was a far cry from camping in a shitty tent our first go round in Margaret River. We stopped at a shearing shed on the way home and it was probably one of the coolest things I have seen since I have been in Australia (not to sure what that says about the things I have done). The man showed us how to shear sheep and how the dogs mustered the sheep which was probably my favorite part. The man was even kind enough to let Granny cop a feel of a sheep’s ball sack.

It was so great having visitors from home and when we returned to Perth, Liz and I took them to the wildlife park and to Janebrook so they could see where we worked. I introduced them to all of my favorite animals and we sat down to have a group photo with Little Lawrence, my favorite wombat. Once Granny and Mrs. Beverly wiped out the wildlife park’s gift shop we headed to Janebrook for some lovely wine and another great meal. Liz got to show off her wine tasting skills and was really impressive when it came to bull shitting! For their last night in Perth, we arranged a dinner with Maureen at our favorite Italian restaurant, Spaghi’s. It was a fun night for everyone and it was really sad to have to say good bye. It left me missing home for sure. The next morning, Liz drove them to the airport and I took off on my bike for work. I hadn’t been to work in five whole days and I was seriously missing it! Everyone gave me a hard time about how quite it had been around the park but I know they had missed me. Things are going fabulously at work and by that I mean no recent animal attacks!!!

For the time being we are just settling into our place and enjoying our time in Australia. We have already been here for four months and it still feels like we arrived yesterday. My home sick meter goes up and up but I know I will be back before long. My Australian vocabulary usage has increased dramatically so when I come home saying funny things, I better not get any lip from any of you and for all of my Cajun friends with thick accents don’t be offended when it takes me a while to understand you again.

*Funny story of the week: Grandpappy and Mr. Larry were reimpressed at how well Liz and I could navigate throughout Australian and how well we had adjusted to driving on the wrong side of the road. Being guys, they were dying to give it a try. Thankfully they both did very well and we all survived their trial drives with no accidents. Since the guys had their turn, Mrs. Beverly thought it was only fair that she try too. She hopped in that driver’s seat, made a few comments about how different it felt, and not five seconds after putting the car in gear did she crash right over the curb. This lady cracks me up beyond belief so when this happened I about peed my pants! She said, “It’s just a rental, it will be fine!” Her driving privileges were removed after that.

G’Day

Lindsay Ezell

LC

Snook

Ez-E

Christmas Down Under!

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 16:57:19 +0700

Merry Christmas to all! I miss my peeps from back home but the way things are going in Australia, I may never come back…just joking of course (kind of). Christmas has been wonderful so far. Santa made his way here and it made for a pretty entertaining morning. Uncle Joe and Aunt Donna were so freaking thoughtful and left us each a pile of gifts and then Liz and I did a little exchange as well. She got me a mini license plate for my bike and it says STACY…which cracked me up and should make everyone else laugh if you think of that song “That’s not my name” by the Ting Tings. Apparently she couldn’t find Lindsay. I got her muffin pans and she put them to good use and made us walnut and banana muffins. Pretty unusual Christmas, don’t ya think?

Uncle Joe’s daughter made her way to Perth with her husband and two children last week and it was lovely getting to meet them. In order to make sure everyone had a comfortable place to sleep, our neighbor Maureen let us stay upstairs in her spare bedroom. Aunt Donna told us that it is pretty unusual for her to offer her place like that so she thinks that Maureen really likes us…duh, who wouldn’t? It was great for the few days that we were up there. It was like a big slumber party every night. Each night we took turns making dinner and for our turn Liz and I made another Mexican feast but this time we had mango margaritas!! Yummy in my tummy J they were a hit and so was the dinner. The family has traveled down south to spend Christmas in Albany, Australia so we are back in their place for the time being. It is time for us to get a place of our own which is kind of stressful. It is going to be difficult to find a furnished place near a train station because since it is summer time here places like that are in popular demand.

Things at work are bitter sweet because people keep leaving due to other job offers but every time someone leaves we throw them a party (hints the sweet part)! This past week my friend Aimee had her last week at work so we met at a restaurant and had a big group dinner. It is always difficult to plan things when I am burdened with my bike but Tracey was nice enough to let me stay at her place so I didn’t have to worry about finding myself and bike a ride home. After the exciting dinner, we all headed to Tracey’s house for some pop culture game called Buzz. I had never played it and I don’t remember much from playing but all I know is that it was one fun night!

The next morning, Tracey’s boyfriend, Shane, got off of work early and took us for a ride in his boat. Boat riding made me terribly home sick and all I could think of were the all the fun memories at the lake house! Once I got over my home sickness, Shane encouraged me to try wake boarding and man was that entertaining! I did manage to stand up on my second try which seemed to impress them but I never stayed up for more than like five seconds…mad skills for sure! Tracey got some good video footage so I will be sure to post that. Tracey packed a wonderful lunch so we stopped off at a little picnic area and made rolls (a.k.a. sandwiches.) We spent the entire day on the boat and I was super burnt on the whole front part of my body which made holding the 57 lb wombat a difficult task the next day at work.

Liz and I have really done a good job of keeping ourselves distracted this holiday season so that we don’t fall into a deep state of depression once we realize how much we miss home. I have decided that we are the worst backpackers in the entire world. Not only have we lived rent free in a place people could only dream of living but for Christmas Eve we treated ourselves to a lobster dinner…we don’t really know how to live on a budget! We decided we were luxurious backpackers but backpackers none the less. For Christmas dinner, we were invited to Maureen’s cousin’s house and we were told to bring something American…I thought HOT DOGS! Liz wouldn’t let me do that so we decided on deviled eggs and pasta salad. So many people have invited Liz and me to spend Christmas with their families so that we weren’t alone and it has been comforting to know that we have such great friends. Even a volunteer at the wildlife park told me that I could spend Christmas at her farm with her family…keep in mind I barely know this woman! Maureen has been so hospitable to us and she is such a hoot to be around. She is learning a lot from us as well, like how to properly use the word douche when insulting someone…we taught her this after a bottle of wine!

The Christmas dinner at her cousin’s house was so much fun. We were welcomed with big Christmas hugs (because most people thought we were just distant relatives they were supposed to know) from everyone and showered with lots of Christmas spirit. They made a special dish for us…SHRIMP ON THE BAR B! The funny thing is that Australians don’t even call them shrimp, they are known as prawns so how that saying came about beats the hell out of me. We met quite a few people that night and a lot of youngins our age so we have a few more friends to add to the list. It was fun getting to experience an Australian Christmas even though it was pretty much the same as any traditional Christmas back home with the exception of funny accents.

I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday season and spent it with the ones they love! I wish I could be there with all of you and know that even though I am having the time of my life I still think of you often. I would love to hear from everyone since you don’t all have hilarious blogs that keep me updated on your life!

*Amazing Story of the week: I am not sure how many of you will actually appreciate this story so I will try to paint the picture best I can. I was cleaning up our koala enclosure and chatting with a volunteer who was doing some weeding for us when I heard a funny noise from one of our female koalas that was sitting by her self. I thought it was a bit unusual because it is normally the males that make noise and only females that are being disturbed by another koala. I walked over to her and noticed that she had some fluid down under so I watched her for a bit. She made random noises and seemed to be in pain so I made the assumption that she was giving birth. I called Maureen (the volunteer) over and we both sat there watching. I had to carry on with my work so I walked away and not five minutes later Maureen called me back over because she said she could see a hand. It definitely wasn’t a hand, it was the little itty bitty joey that she had given birth to and it was now climbing into her pouch! You see koalas are only pregnant for a month and they give birth to a peanut size joey so to actually witness the process is remarkable because the birth is virtually unnoticeable if you aren’t paying close attention. I was basically in the right place at the right time and I got to see the WHOLE THING! Just so you know how miraculous that is, only one other person working at the park has ever seen it…even people who have been working there for over five years haven’t witnessed it. Everyone was so pissed (in a joking way) that it was a damn American that got to watch a koala give birth! It was probably the coolest thing I have ever seen (do I sound like an animal nerd yet?)!

G’day,

Lindsay Ezell

LC

Snook

Ez-E

Pub Crawls and Christmas Parties

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 18:55:12 +0700

SORRRRYYYY to all my devoted readers who have been desperately waiting for an updated blog. You see, I dropped my computer (yes I was sober) and the screen cracked so I had to get it repaired. The repairs took a little longer than predicted and I had to get a bit rude with the computer people but it is back and working beautifully! I am so happy to be writing to you on this day, December 8, 2008… our three month anniversary! Can you believe it? Since it has been so long, there is lots to catch you up on so enjoy this long awaited blog.

Work is moving along just great and I am not the newby any more so it is pretty cool to be helping other people. I am giving hour long tours to small groups and absolutely loving it. It is like an hour of the Lindsay show! It is a competition for me to see how much I can make people laugh. It is really challenging when my group doesn’t speak English and they have a translator that doesn’t translate everything I say. When that happens it is awkward because I say a joke, wait for the translation, and then expect my group to burst into laughter so when there is dead silence I stand there smiling at the translator as if she has more to tell them and when she stares back at me I just shoot them an awkward smile and keep on rolling.

Some girls from work decided to hit up a night on the town so Liz and I went along. It was the first time we went pub crawling (or bar hopping) since we have been here. I did have to work the next day but Liz and I already agreed that I could take the car so I figured I could drink a bit. We started at a place called The Queen that was packed with people. By the time we met up with my friends from work, a few of them were definitely drunk. Tracey, my English friend, was out of control and I knew I was right at home when she started talking to every human being that we passed on the streets. We were taking shots at every bar we went to so it didn’t take me very long to catch up with everyone. My crazy friend Bek decided she was going to relive her days of gymnastics and took off towards a park where she did a round off back flip for everyone. When she returned she realized she had lost her phone so that took some time to find. We moved on to the next bar and had more shots. Things were getting crazy and our whole group was loud as can be. We had an absolute blast! After loosing Jessica and Gemma, who called it an early night because they also had work the next day, we decided to head further into the city for a new exciting crowd.

I found out that the reason Tracey and Bek were so drunk was because they hadn’t eaten all day so we stopped off at a Kebab shop so they could sober up a bit. There were a bunch of young guys working at the Kebab shop so we had a field day picking on them. They gave us complimentary Turkish delights which were AWFUL! I spit mine out as soon as I bit into it. I entertained everyone for a bit while I threatened the workers into letting me use their toilet. They tried to tell me that they didn’t have one but I knew better so I walked behind the counter to find it. It was hidden pretty well so I picked up some huge kitchen instrument and told them I could cause some serious damage if they didn’t show me where their toilet was. I must have looked pretty intimidating because they handed me a set of keys and pointed me in the right direction. It was all in good fun and once the kebabs were done we took off for an Irish pub.

Tracey’s friend Clint was a manager at the Irish pub so he continued to feed us shots all night. The pub had a live band so we put on our boogie shoes and hit the dance floor. It was such a fun night and before I knew it, it was after two am and I had to wake up for work in four hours. Liz and I finally got home a little after three so if you can imagine the next morning was a little rough. I woke up horse so when I got to work the next morning all my supervisors were laughing at me for being a pansy. Luckily I wasn’t that hung over so work was as enjoyable as always.

There was one day where Liz had to babysit for a family that lived near a beach and since it was my day off, I dropped her off and enjoyed the relaxing sounds of the waves. I got to the beach at like eight am so I am sure you can imagine that I was the only one there. There was the occasional old man who ran by in his speedo so I knew I shouldn’t get my hopes up for the Aussie of my dreams that day. It was really windy and I did have to chase my umbrella down the beach a couple of times before I finally figured out a way to keep it tied down. I laid out for about two hours and then took a swim in the beautiful Indian Ocean. It definitely wasn’t Baywatch style where I went dashing into the water because I swear the temperature was below freezing. I don’t know how people were actually swimming. I got in up to my stomach (you know, where it feels the coldest on your body?) and then I squirmed my way back to shore and decided I would call it a day. It was pretty funny because as I was packing up, a group of school girls came down in their uniforms carrying surf boards. Their instructor told them where to go and then they all took off their uniforms to reveal their swimsuits underneath and then hit the waves for some surfing. I thought that was a pretty unusual field trip.

Thanksgiving came rolling around the corner and to celebrate Liz and I went to Spaghis, our favorite Italian restaurant. Pretty festive right? It was actually a really fun night and we enjoyed just getting to relax and chat because when I have work I am gone all day and exhausted when I get home so there really isn’t much talking to do. Liz had a job interview at the drug and alcohol center the next day and it turned out to be a huge success because she got the job! She starts today actually so I just sent her on her way, looking sharp and with her lunch packed, just like any good mother would do J

It was interesting because the day after Thanksgiving was the wildlife park Christmas party so my holidays are being rushed along. The Christmas party was so much fun and it was at an awesome Chinese restaurant. I caught the train into Midland where a few of the girls picked me up and then we stopped at the bottle shop for some booze. We were already running pretty late because we were kind of lost but we figured the booze stop was pretty important. As it turns out we couldn’t even bring our beer in because it was B.Y.O. sprits and wine. We just snuck out to the car and finished what we could before dinner. There were name tags at our tables so I took my seat next to some people who worked in the shop (that I had never met) and two of my favorite volunteers, Jenny and Barry. They are a lovely couple who loves the wildlife park and are the absolute sweetest people I know. We kicked off the night with great food and conversation followed by a few too many beers. Jenny was acting pretty matronly and forcing me to eat more food because she said I hadn’t eaten enough. I swear if I had let her she would have spoon fed me. The night was coming to an end and everyone was giving me a hard time about how loud I was which just fueled the fire!

The party didn’t end there because we all headed to Bek’s house for a little after party! It was one of those nights where everyone is drunk and things are out of control (like bek’s clean underwear and bras strewn all over the place) and then when things quite down you all start talking about serious shit. One of those drunken heart to hearts… you know? We had a really fun time and I didn’t do anything too stupid just revealed to them a few of my life secrets. A few of us ended up sleeping at Bek’s since no one could drive me to the train station and I had a good laugh the next morning when everyone headed to work and I got to stay back and sleep some more. Apparently half the staff rolled in hung over that morning! I figured since I had the next four days off by the time I got back to work everyone would be talking about something else and I won’t have to hear about any of the embarrassing things I did. I could only wish to be so lucky. They didn’t forget a damn thing so I was ragged on all day at work!

Aunt Donna returned home on Monday and Liz and I picked her up from the air port. We gave her a big warm welcome and made sure the place was spotless and just how she had left it. Since Aunt Donna is back it means that Liz and I are sharing a bed again which is not fun! I got used to stretching out over the entire bed and plus it gets pretty hot in this room. I feel bad for Liz because I wiggle (wriggle is how the Aussies say it.) so much when I am trying to fall asleep. We will be looking for our own place soon because unfortunately all good things must come to an end! It has been great having Aunt Donna around because she cooks some pretty good food! For lunch yesterday, we went to Jane Brook, where Liz works, and had a wonderful day at the winery. We invited our upstairs neighbor, Maureen, and enjoyed all of her life stories. She is a hoot and we absolutely adore her company. I had to take it easy on the wine because I had to babysit last night so luckily for them they had a designated driver. It was a lovely afternoon!

Now I am laying in bed enjoying a quite morning in South Perth. Life is wonderful and I count my lucky stars every night! Christmas is going to be a tough one but we are going to have a house full with Uncle Joe’s daughter coming in with her husband and two kids so we should stay plenty entertained. They are headed to Albany shortly after they get here so Liz and I will most likely be hanging out on Christmas day by our selves. The wildlife park is open every day accept for Christmas so I will probably be working around that time. At least we have each other to get through the holidays! I expect lots of Skype calls around that time so if you haven’t downloaded Skype you better get busy! It is so funny to see Christmas decorations around when it is hot outside. We have even gotten into the Christmas spirit around the park because we wear these little reindeer antlers at our wombat show… we are pretty freaking cute!

I hope you enjoyed our adventures from the last few weeks. Shoot me an email and let me know how you are doing! I miss you all and really wish you would come and visit me!

*Funny story of the week: Our way of communicating at the park is done over CB radios so I am getting used to using the lingo and speaking nice and slow over the radio so that everyone can understand me. One day I was headed down the back to our staff area when this really cute guy stops me who was working on cementing an area of the park. He asked me if I could radio my supervisor and ask him to bring the wheel barrow back and I told him that I would. So I walked back to the staff area, apparently with a smile on my face because Bek and Liz were in the kitchen and had been watching me talk to this guy so they were giving me a hard time and asking me what I was smiling about. I got back on task and radioed my supervisor and said “Chad its Lindsay, the cement guy wants his wheel barrow back”. Liz and Bek crack up laughing and I am totally clueless as to what is going on. Before I know it Chad comes back over the radio and asks me to repeat what I said because he didn’t really catch that. The girls are still laughing at me and Bek asks me if I just said semen…yeah apparently I pronounce cement like semen. I couldn’t even radio Chad back with out laughing so the next message over the radio was a bunch of laughter. I told them that was how we pronounced cement in the states…like seament but they pronounce it sament. I told Liz the story when I got home hoping for her support only to find out that I am the only goober that pronounces it like that! I felt pretty stupid at that point since everyone with a radio that I was saying the semen guy wants his wheel barrow back!

G’day,

Lindsay Ezell

Snook

Ez-E

I Still Have a Job

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 03:26:03 +0700

As much as we tried, we still managed to have a pretty uneventful week. I am trying hard to find other things to write about than my job but that is the hot topic of the moment. I am actually pretty lucky to still have a job because apparently I read the schedule wrong and was totally supposed to be at work today. Luckily they felt sorry for the silly American and just laughed it off. Enjoy the small bit of adventures that we had this week.

I am learning a lot of new things at work so I am staying plenty busy. Last week was very rainy and freaking cold so every morning I had to force myself to get on the bike and head to work. There was even a chance of hail on Thursday but Liz let me take the car so I didn’t have to worry about that. I got to sleep in a whole hour later and it was like heaven to actually wake up when the sun was out instead of the pitch dark. Things are starting to fall into a routine so when that routine changes I get all distracted and start to make mistakes. I made a few mistakes at work so you might get a good laugh out of picturing me trying to fix these situations.

One morning when I fed the roos, I forgot to close the gate that separates half of the enclosure. You see when I walk through the enclosure they all follow me (we are talking 70 something kangaroos) and I throw them bread. Once the bread is thrown I am supposed to close the gate so that they stay near the front of the enclosure for the morning tour groups to see. Instead of closing it I went about the rest of my duties in the roo enclosure and about ten minutes into it I noticed the kangaroos hopping to the back. I freaked out and my initial reaction was to take off running well guess what scared the crap out of the kangaroos so a whole bunch more took off towards the back. I finally get to the gate after half of the roos have escaped to the back and close it. It was completely obvious that things were a little out of the ordinary when the tour groups came through but no one ever said anything so I hope they aren’t keeping a secret tally of my screw ups because I am for sure racking up.

On the morning that I drove, I must have been half asleep because after getting the roos breakfast together I headed to the enclosure. The bread wasn’t where it was supposed to be so things took a bit longer to get situated that morning. Keep in mind I am already running behind because I only have about fifteen minutes to get everything done before I am called up for the morning tour groups. I get there five minutes later than usual and start throwing them bread and carrots. Once that was done, I started raking and then I went to grab the bag of hay to feed them. Guess what I forgot? That’s right the fricking bag of hay. Just to paint a picture for you, it is the biggest thing in my wheel barrow so how I forgot it, I have no clue. So I had to radio to my supervisor to let him know that I have to get hay which means everyone who could hear their radio knew what a dufous I was that morning and then I had to hurry down the back so I could get the hay and be back in time to give the morning tour. Slightly embarrassing but again no one really mentioned it so I think they are definitely taking it easy on the slightly challenged American.

Later that same day, I was shown how to change the greenery in our quarantine section which is huge (the section itself, not me getting to change the greenery). I paid close attention to Liz, the girl showing me, and then we split up to change out the bird section. There is the huge row of cages with about 15 to 20 birds in it. The birds are in separate cages but you have to walk through one to get to the other. These birds are in quarantine for a reason, either not enough space for them in the park or because they just aren’t all that friendly (keep the second in mind.) Liz informed me that everyone at the park calls the row of cages Alcatraz…if that gives you an idea of what I was dealing with. I make my way through the first few cages with ease and the occasional head duck from a crazed bird trying to gouge my eyes out. I reached the white tailed black cockatoo that is absolutely nutty! I opened the gate into the cage next to her and while I was pulling the greenery through the freaking bird flew through the gate. Now I have a crazy black cockatoo in with the temperamental sulphur crested cockatoos that make the most obnoxious noise EVER! It was complete nuttiness for the next few minutes while I tried to get the black cockatoo to fly back to its cage. I gave a quick look over my shoulder hoping Liz wouldn’t be staring at me and luckily she was too preoccupied to notice what I had done. Things calmed down and the damn bird made her way back to her cage and I carried on.

I entered in through the other side to remove the greenery and I noticed a lock on one of the cages. I unlocked it with my key and took out the greenery. I asked Liz why it was locked and she said that the bird in there was really expensive so they had to be extra careful. I grabbed the new greenery and headed back through those cages. Well the same damn thing happened except this time it was of course the freaking expensive bird flying out of its cage. I about crapped my pants! This one was a little more stubborn like it knew it was expensive and could get away with anything. Again Liz was off doing her own thing so I escaped embarrassment once more. I coaxed the bird back into the enclosure and threw its greenery down and ran through those cages like no bodies business. I am cringing for the next time I have to do greenery in quarantine.

I am sure you are surprised that I am still working and to be honest I am too! None the less I am pretty sure they love me at the park and it is easy to blame everything on being an American. I am making friends with everyone and we went to that party I was telling you about. It was really cold outside and we weren’t drinking so we didn’t stay very long. I promised them an out of control American at our next get together. Apparently things got crazy shortly after we left but unlike some of them I had to work the next day…not cool! It was pretty funny because the host of the party had tents set up in the back yard for anyone that couldn’t drive home…I thought that was pretty clever. This job is definitely one I never want to be hung over for. Liz and I called it a night pretty early since she had her trial run at the winery the next day and I had to be at the park for eight am.

I drove to work Sunday morning since Liz had to work too and I planned on picking her up when I got off. I told her it was best that I have the car because she would probably be drinking all day. GOOD GUESS on my part! After the day was over, I was smelly as all get up and my feet were looking raunchy from my shoes so I headed in Liz’s direction. She didn’t exactly tell me where to pick her up so I stopped at a gas station to fill up and grab a snack. After missing my first two phone calls she finally sends me a text telling me where to go. I head to Jane Brooke and sit in the car because I smell and look like wombat ass. This guy comes up to the window shortly after I pull up so I tell him who I am looking for and he informs me that they are drinking out back and to just follow him. Sure enough I walk up to a drunken Liz in her cute little winery outfit enjoying her new friends from work while I am covered in dirt and sweat. My appearance didn’t keep me from pulling up a chair and accepting their offer to drink some wine so no worries there. It is going to be a pretty sweet deal to have her working there because after my long day wine was just what I needed.

We had a good time chatting with her new pals and before we knew it, we kind of got yelled at by the owner for being there so late. Liz thought she was already getting fired so I had to laugh at her. It was a pretty good end to (or what I thought was the end) of my week. With Bama’s victory over the tigers it pretty much made for a perfect day. I fell sound asleep from my exhausting day at work and had a crazy dream about spiders. I jolted out of bed and flicked the lights on only to find that there were no spiders around and that I could fall back asleep safe and sound. This morning, I woke up and had my coffee before my phone started ringing shortly after eight am. I was amazed because no one ever calls my Australia phone and the number wasn’t in my phone book so I assumed it was a new friend from work calling to hang out on their day off. It was someone from work but no one calling to hang out. It was my supervisor Debbie on the other end informing me that I was supposed to be at work so I am sure I will get a lesson tomorrow on how to read the schedule! I for sure thought that I had Monday through Wednesday off and worked Thursday through Saturday but indeed I work Monday through Wednesday and was supposed to have Thursday through Saturday off. Just a little confusion on my end but like I said she had a good laugh about it and now I am working on Friday instead.

I got to spend my accidental day off shopping and by shopping I mean grocery shopping. I chatted with a few people from back home and that always makes my day! I also found out that Ebee had a little boy so I am absolutely ecstatic but missing home more than ever. I talked to my mom today and heard Martini barking uncontrollably in the background and despite how obnoxious she sounded I still wanted to be right there with her. I miss hot dogs so much I could cry and I tried really hard to find some at the grocery store but none of the links were red enough for me (because my favorite hot dog is the little red wieners…classy, I know!) Good thing this place is so amazing that I am willing to get past a life without hot dogs and the people I love most!

*Funny Story of the Week: I was asked to come up to the display area for one of the shows and also to bring the gang gang cockatoos with me. I knew they might put up a fight but I grabbed one and Jess grabbed the other. I had Gangus who is generally nice and as he perched innocently on my shoulder I took off for the display area. I felt him nibbling on my hat so I turned my head towards him to get him to stop. That put him directly in front of my ear which he did not hesitate to bite. It was freaking painful and he did it twice more before I got to the show. I sat him on the perch as quickly as possibly and joined everyone else that was waiting for the show to start. I complained about my throbbing ear and how mean the gang gangs were only to look down and find a huge stream of bird shit on my polo! Its not over…Chad gave me the job of bringing BOTH of them back to their cage after the show and he said just keep them on your arms and they won’t bite your ear. I am not sure how you do that because as soon as I put them on my arms they crawled up to my shoulder. They were pretty well behaved until I got to their cage and found that a pigeon had flown inside. Tash was nice enough to stop what she was doing to help me get it out so once we had accomplished that the two gang gangs were fired up on my shoulder. I turned to thank her and put my mouth in a danger zone because Junior grabbed hold of my lip and had a good hard nibble and my reaction was to turn my head away only to be facing Gangus who chose to bite my ear one last time. I am pretty sure that had I not stopped to think about it I would have thrown them in their cage but instead I was nice enough to let them in gently…I guess it is safe to say that I am not really a bird person!

G’Day

Lindsay Ezell

LC

Snook

Ez-E